remains

Woke up in a nightmare,
Saw nothing was left there.
Walking in empty spaces
Of what used to be familiar faces.
All this time I’ve spent away,
Searching through my decay,
Everything had changed into a place i can no longer stay.
All the ones I held so dear,
They all ran in fear.
I never realized what I was becoming,
The inner hell that I was summoning.
I thought it hid so deep in me,
Didn’t know anyone could see what i see.
Maybe they couldn’t,
Maybe they only smelled my disease.
I kick up dust of what used to be lust,
I walk past the pile of broken trust.
I see the blood stains from all my re-opened cuts.
This place I walk through sends shivers down my spine,
It’s the remainders of all my wasted time.
All the love I gave that was never returned,
Only thing left is the heart she broke and burned.
All I see is destruction and death,
This is what all my anger and hate left.
The feelings I shoved so far down,
They exploded and burnt this whole mother fucker to the ground.
The depression that was locked away,
Because of the pills I took each and every day,
It built on itself till it broke out its cage,
And all of that turned to rage.
At that stage
I let the dark side take my place,
Let it drive and it destroyed every single thing that ever brought me peace.
Any chance at happiness was ceased.
The weight that i carried on my back,
Eventually became too much,
I finally cracked.
The feet that had brought me this far,
They stopped,
They gave up,
I couldn’t run,
I was left to self-destruct.
Watched myself die from the inside,
Everyday and there was nothing I could do,
Nothing I could say.
My words no longer said anything,
they didn’t make a sound
And in the attempt to pass through the air they drowned.
So as the world passed me by,
I stood comatose waiting for the day I finally died.
If anyone would have stopped and took the time,
Stared into my eyes,
They could have seen the war within,
The pain that was hidden.
If anyone cared to understand
Why I was the way I was and didn’t
Think I was an ass just cause
Maybe someone could have saved me
But months went by and I slowly died,
The better me lost strength and faded away,
The dark me finally won the battle.
Everywhere I looked I saw the destruction that would be done.
The world I made was gone
All I worked so hard to be,
Was taken away faster than I could see.
Every cry that i made before I was silenced,
You ignored.
I said this hurt,
And you did it more.
You cry because of what I became.
It’s a shame that all the good I had,
didn’t ever have a chance.
And all the romance I held inside,
I gave it a try,
And she let it die,
Killed it with every single lie.
I had stab wounds all up and down my back,
Because of them my veins collapsed.
You can all now relax,
I’m leaving this place,
Like I left my past..
No matter how long I leave,
I always come back…

Submitted by Johnnie Parker.